27th June 2004 vs Westcott

Match Drawn

Westcott batted first and scored 217-7 (40 overs)

Eynsham replied with 203-8 (subject to Auditors inspection)

Scorecard

Match Report

We assemble in the Queen’s for a journey across the county border to take on the sleepy village of Westcott in Bucks (another fixture whose origins are lost somewhere in the Middle Ages). In time-honoured Sunday fashion, some unsuspecting chap with a hangover (Gavin, in this case) is saddled with the captaincy about 5 minutes before we leave. Dave Hanson takes up pole position on the A40, while Gavin’s 7.5 litre Vauxhall (as fast as Mallard, it’s rumoured) & Dave Keeper’s vintage model sideslip through the Peartree garage to leave the Sollis- & Harris-mobiles cars trailing in their wake. Down the A41 we all pile, but it is Dave “Schumacher” Hanson who turns into the Westcott field several minutes before anyone else, despite having no idea where he’s supposed to be going. We clamber into the Smallest Changing Room in Buckinghamshire while Gavin goes off to lose the toss (another staunch Sunday tradition). We are fielding.

The setting is impressive – hills to north and south, clear views everywhere, and a ruddy great raincloud hovering. The wicket looks a bit uneven, with a few cracks despite the recent rain. Gavin’s team talk is an inspiring mix of grim Athertonian spirit and the more user-friendly Vaughan-ish approach: “do get in tooch if you have any suggestions”, he encourages us. We feel a few drops of rain while Westcott’s openers undergo a fair old trial against Hanson & Gully, who are both on the spot from the start and concede only 2-3 an over. There is the odd short ball, which is generally cracked to the rather short boundary (leg-side, bowling from the far end, for those of you who like to get technical about these things). There is also a pretty hefty gust blowing in from the far end (occasionally veering south-south-west), which may help to explain the odd erratic delivery. So the openers (both 1st XI players, I gather) move carefully but fairly sedately on towards and past 50, their only near-alarm being Hughes’s dropped sitter from a mis-hook off Hanson. They swap places in the field (a “workers’ coup” this, without the skipper’s sanction) and another chance is immediately offered – and spurned – to mid-off, precisely where Dave had been standing and where Hughes wanders round in circles while the ball falls gently to earth. At this point, heads could go down, but Mikey Sollis gets one of the openers to scythe a low cover drive to Dave Harris, who does not miss.

Having got the first wicket, we set off a mini-collapse, with Sollis & Gavin both very steady. The skipper gets one to move a bit and pop up, and the no.3 offers a straightforward catch to Sam H at slip. Then a quicker one finds the new batsman cutting hard and just in front of future film star (I am advised) Max, who takes what must surely be the Sunday catch of the season, at (or possibly below) ankle-height. And it gets better. Mikey is encouraged enough to take 2 wickets in successive balls, one off a perfect yorker. He even disposes off the limpet-like opener for 64, with Dave Harris taking another fine steepler of a catch. Westcott are struggling a bit, with 6 down for not much more than a hundred, Sollis 4-42. Gavin urges on the troops. Then he tells Hughes to warm up. Hughes: “You can’t take Mikey off, he’s just taken 2 wickets!” Skipper: “He’s also just bowled his 8 overs!” Hughes: “Oh………”.

But, unknown to us, Westcott are saving their skipper (also a 1st XI player, with more than a passing resemblance to Nasser Hussain…….) for just such a crisis. Without bothering to play himself in much, he and his partner go into serious smiting mode. Those of you with a nervous disposition should avert your eyes from the bowling figures of Hughes & Jones, who in their different ways – Sam bowling a steady middle-and-off line, Hughes failing to pitch 2 successive balls in the same place – succeed only in feeding Westcott’s frenzy. The skipper leg-glances off middle stump, smashes length balls back over our heads and doesn’t neglect the short leg-side boundary you may recall me mentioning……….Finally, the reluctant Sam H (“Head” to his mates) is finally called up – and clean bowls their skipper with his third ball (2 short of his 50, but we are in no mood to be chivalrous – we are not so much a cricket side now as a bunch of survivors from the well-known “I’m a Sunday cricketer – get me out of here” show). Thankfully the 40 overs are up, and we can concentrate on getting egg inside our faces instead of all over them. The total is 217 for 7.

The fielders never give up despite the late onslaught: Max & Ben are particularly sharp, Gully’s arm is true as ever, and the skipper sets a fine example by throwing himself to all parts of the ground. This being Euro 2004, stopping or returning the ball with the feet is definitely in vogue, though the team’s aim is no better than Beckham’s, frankly. Dave Edwards-Wilson-Keeper (he seems to have added a third barrel to his name – there is no way this will fit in the scorebook) – keeps effervescently as ever and even takes on the part of umpire. After appealing on instinct as he just fails to cling on to a blinding chance off Sam J, he whips the bails off, appeals again & shouts “Not out….I dropped it!”

The tea is pretty sound, given we are in a whole different county. Dave Hanson, having judged the total to be “gettable” is spied snaffling a few spare cakes to amuse himself with in the scorebox…….he is demoted to 10, for reasons that are not apparent at the time………the 2 Sams open.

The first ball is a no-ball – one fewer to get; the second ball Sam H drives sumptuously past mid-off for 4; the third ball a full toss crying “hit me!” he spoons to mid-off and is caught. “I wanted to defend it but didn’t know how, so I biffed it,” he complains afterwards. Ben Glastonbury plays steadily and adds a vital 36 with Sam J, and Max knocks a couple of meaty fours before being adjudged lbw to a rank shooter (not the last, I might mention). The bowling attack is pretty unfriendly, to be honest. There’s a very tall chap with a big leap in his delivery stride who reminds me rather un-nervingly of Brett Lee; at the other end is an accurate off-stumpy seamer who seems to have the nickname “Veggieburger” (His brother, who comes on first change, is called, simply, “Meat”. Don’t ask………) It starts to rain heavily, but Sam, well in and moving towards perfecting the art of the late cut on a low, slow pitch, laughs at the notion of coming off. The team emerge from under cover to greet his 50 – reached with a classic strong fore-arm boundary – and stay outside long enough to see him hit another nice 4 and then lift his head to loft a catch. The cheers are more muted, but it has been an important knock, and dominating towards the end – 24 off his last 16 balls: at 96 for 4, we are still in the chase – 120 to win with 16 overs left. Then things start to go wrong…….Dave Harris scratches a bit for 4 singles and gets another low one, which Gully interprets as plumb lb………104-5, Hughes gets credited with 4 that are really byes (don’t tell anyone) then misses a straight one. The skipper says “you got another shooter” as they pass, but I think he is just being kind……..116-6. Things get even worse………Dave E-W-Keeper and Mikey are bowled by successive balls bowled by a rather imposing man who has a curious way of getting the ball Not to Bounce on pitching. We are 127 for 8, needing 91 with six and a half overs left. We’re doomed. The children lock the film star in the scorebox as a punishment for turning off “Head”’s shower, but they have the wrong man. It is all over, surely.

Dave Hanson survives an impassioned lbw shout for the hat-trick ball, and looks rather relieved. Gavin hits the second ball of the next over for 6. Mmmm. He survives another confident lbw shout; the ball is low but ill-aimed. The ball is still damp and stops in the ground and off the bat, shots fall short of the fielders, but the over yields ten. The skipper keeps the strike and hits 3 lusty boundaries in the next over, each to a different part of the field. Nobody quite knows what will happen next – Westcott have used up their best bowlers – but there are still 63 to get in 4 overs with only Gully to come (and Umpire Harris already at his post, looking determined – surely revenge cannot be on his mind?). Now Dave Hanson takes on the persona of young Timmy Henman & swats a superb blow into Court 8 for 6. Oh I say! Another couple of beefy hits, 13 off the over! 50 to win off 3. Somehow the man who can’t make the ball bounce contains the now-crazed pair to a mere 6 runs – four dot balls. Nails are bitten. The evening light is clear, the breeze gentle now.

Three wides start the penultimate over, with Gavin & Dave vying to see who can hit the ball harder, singles are run to all parts of the deep-set field, but still 29 are needed off the last over, with Dave facing. The first two balls are smacked regally – 21 off 4 now (and the skipper’s keeping count, he tells me later). But the maths finally runs out as the next ball goes for a single…………the skipper hits a defiant last four, and we end up fourteen short. A magnificent Eynsham “who says we’ve lost?” comeback, and I’m sure we would have trounced them on Duckworth-Lewis if Jones had only come off for the rain…….

Dave & Gavin have put on 76 unbeaten for the 9th wicket (the 2nd best in the club’s history) – in 7 overs, which must be some sort of record. In the Westcott Social Club afterwards, we are invited to nominate Westcott’s Man of the Match. We vote unanimously for their umpire for not giving Dave out first ball.