The President’s Match

Sunday, August 28^th 2005

President’s X1 175 for 8; Eynsham Cricket Club Select X1 163 for 9

MATCH DRAWN

PRESIDENT’S X1 INNINGS:

EYNSHAM SELECT XI INNINGS

The keenest-fought match in the Sunday fixture list is upon us again, as El Presidente packs his side with batting designed to wear down our (largely) youthful bowling attack. It is hot, and there is no chance of us winning the toss three times in a season, so we field.

Messrs Brown and Wilson are pitted against Burney, wearing whites that are evidently an unfortunate victim of the wash, and Mikey, who starts with a wide and a no-ball. These are by some margin the worst balls he bowls, however, and the openers’ progress is fairly stately. Micky & Burney are well supported by our skipper’s Vaughan-esque field-placings: 3 gullies and a backward point for Bludger, short extras, silly-mid-offs and all sorts for Wilson. The tactic soon pays off, as John tries to attack elsewhere and slaps a straight ball from Mikey ferociously to forward square-leg, where the Skip takes a blinder. Mikey turns the screw with 2 maidens as Duds plays himself in warily. The pitch has its habitual low bounce, and the less-than-searing pace of M & B makes scoring a real challenge. Nonetheless, Phil finds the odd gap and proceeds mainly in fours, some more airborne than he intends. He and Adam finally see off Burnie, who gets good swing, beats the bat a few times and causes havoc with his cunningly-disguised slower ball. Ben replaces him and gets a bit of life but no success, and the Prezza’s lot pass 50.

We need a breakthrough, and it is Gully who is called on to provide. Bowling a teasing flight, he ties up (or is it down?) the batsmen and gets due reward when Phil misses a straight one and is plumb. Our very own "King of Spain" is jubilant, and we have both openers back in the pav. (or possibly the beer tent). Now, if there are 2 players in the club whom you would be least keen to bowl at in tandem, it must be Duds and the no. 4 Macca – so of course Sam now brings on Hughes. Carnage is temporarily averted, however, when a stroke of luck accounts for Adam: Gareth, who moves out from behind the stumps at precisely this moment, intercepts a spooned cover-drive off a horrible low-bouncing delivery - 68 for 3.

Relief is brief, though, as Daisy takes a liking to Hughes and Macca to Sam. In fact Macca takes more than a liking to our Skipper…. Sam deceives and bowls Daisy with his first ball. Andy M. then lofts his third ball into the crowd – or, to be precise, onto the hood of a pram (mercifully unoccupied). The crowd wakes up, complaining that they do not understand the significance of multiple shouts of "heads" from the fielders. We promise to be more explicit next time. 3 balls later, Macca threatens the crowd again, only this time the ball goes over everyone’s head and into the car park.

Sam, who declines my offer to field on the line at the start of the over, now spreads the field grimly and switches from spin to rapid fast-medium. Just to show there is no favouritism, Macca swats another 6 off Hughes’ last ball. Pikey meanwhile is also enjoying his festive offerings until Burnie returns to have him caught by "Sting" Ray. Andy Mac crashes out next ball but the pair add 58 in about 5 overs before our short-trousered hero gets his man. Macca adds 7 fours – one a vicious tennis smash past the bowler, another a tracer bullet past Hughes’ right hand at extra cover - to his 3 sixes, and in half an hour turns the game on its head. But Eynsham’s powers of recovery are legendary; after Burnie’s pair of wickets, Blackers has a waft, and our Skipper’s figures benefit from a catch by Ben – 154 for 7. Now we are back in the hunt. (Blackers, by the way, will be the only player to register a duck in the game – much to the disappointment of those, such as myself, who boldly predict a hatful of ducks on the highly popular betting sheet.)

There are half-a-dozen overs till tea: time to unleash our spin twins Nigel & Grouty…. Ian Miller plays stylishly but fails to read a professorial twirler, & Crompers tries to cut Graham but only finds Gareth at backward point, making up for lack of success with the ball by taking his third catch. Expensive catch, that! Chuck defiantly glances (well, sort of) the next ball for 4, the President notches up a lordly two before Grouty gets his revenge on Chuckles for ruining his figures, and the President’s XI are all out for 175.

The Presidential Tea, including such delicacies as Brie wedges and grapes, is very well-received after a hot session, and our spirits are high as Els and Nigel go out to chase the target. The Prezza opens with "Deadeye" Berry and himself, and, as you can imagine, there are very few loose balls. After 4 overs we have 8, after 8, 18, after 13, 36. Understandably, the spectators (not to mention the fielders) are a wee bit distracted by the nail-biting conclusion to the Test Match. There is 1 scoring shot in Nigel’s first 23 balls. But there is no denying he sees off the openers, and duly celebrates with a boundary of a Crompton no-ball. Alas! In Cromp’s next over, a ball pitches straight, Nigel is caught in front, and Umpire Lake holds up a valedictory finger. "Never have a bowler for an umpire" is the Professor’s only printable comment on the decision. Els is also proceeding cautiously – 45 balls to reach 20 – but he hits Chuckles for 2 fours, not a common sight you have to admit. Now Dave H joins him, and the rate of progress improves. Gerry cannily spreads his field so Dave has to put up with ones and twos, but Els is now seeing the ball well, and, wisely in the heat, sticking mainly to boundaries. Blackers, Cromps & Ian M all suffer, and the fielding begins to look a bit straggly - with one exception. Dave hits high into the trees, a certain six – but there is Pikey, fending it off with a palm & flicking it down just inside the line. Still, at 100 for 1 we are pretty well-placed, about 15 overs to go. It is now that Daisy turns the game around once again. A clearly worn-out Els gets a bottom-edge, and Phil B takes a fine low catch. 10 runs later the keeper pouches another snorter, and Dave is out.

Graham & Gareth make a small recovery but now Gerry turns the screws. On comes Macca, and Phil takes his third – and best – catch, diving yards to snaffle Gareth’s edge. Now Macca bowls Grouty. On comes "Deadly" J. Wilson and bowls Hughes – a vicious backspinner that rises even less than Hughes’ delivery to Adam. Talking of which, on comes……….guess who. Sam, who is visibly relived when Macca comes off, is lbw to Duds at the same score – 144 – which means we lose 6 for 40 after passing 100 for only 1 down. There is no stopping Adam’s yorkers now, and Burnie & Ben soon succumb, the Burnster aiming an ambitious cut that finds Crompers perfectly placed at third man (as near the transistor radio as he is allowed). There is minor controversy as the Prezza tries to bring back Daisy, but is told in no uncertain terms that he already bowls his six overs. In panic, Gerry turns again to Wilson, who bowls what will be the last over to a defiant Gully. John bowls his entire repertoire in a vain attempt to entice Gully down the track, blade aloft, and even tosses up a couple of wides to keep the score moving. But 15 off the last over is a temptation Gully is well able to resist. An honourable draw, then, though I fancy our skipper is the less satisfied of the two.

An interesting measure of the power balance, as it were, is that the President’s XI score 29 boundaries while we only manage 11 – but evidently we run much faster………….

M.Hughes